I Know Them When I See Them

We were at the little clam shack we frequented over the years, when we biked the 14 mile route from one picturesque town to this other. You see, I always needed a carrot—an incentive to get me through the rigors of the long bike ride from Barrington to Quito’s in Bristol was that.

Now that we’re older, we still go there for lunch; we just don’t bike to it.

The couple in their early 70’s who had apparently finished most of their lunch sat alongside the perimeter looking out on the harbor. The man got up to use the rest room and the woman availed herself of more wine from the bottle in the wine cooler, pouring her glass up to the halfway mark. I could see it was a Chardonnay—the kind I used to drink.

Her partner returned. While standing, he picked up the cardboard pint takeout container of soup (lobster bisque?) and poured half of it into a dark bowl that probably was the container for mussels in wine and swished the concoction around, then tried to pour the mix back into the pint container.

His mate just silently watched.The liquid went all over, spilling onto the table, the floor, his clothes. He then took cloth napkins and attempted to soak up the mess, mopping all…moving it around the top of the table.

When he finished with that, he sat and wrung out the napkins and began blotting his clothes with the now-soaked napkins.

All the time, she sat there, mute, not commenting, looking around, occasionally, to see if others watched. She never rose to help him in his futile endeavor. It was as if she’d “been there” before and had learned not to partake in the unproductive drama.

I considered maybe she’d intervened before and invited a stream of invective rom her partner.

So, a crazy scene whose lead actor was a man performing an insane ritual designed to achieve a negligible result.

I knew the signs. I always recognize the actions of a cognitively impaired mind.

I knew her, too….the dispirited partner.

Think this is a sad, singular happening that will probably never affect you?

Don’t be so sure. Currently, in the United States there are 6.9 million affected with some form of dementia and roughly double that number of unpaid Caregivers. These figures will escalate considerably in future years due to the fact the population is all living longer. Dementias affecting families will become the greatest medical crisis in future years as we all grapple with how to deal with what may be a very long, very taxing disease—emotionally…physically…financially.

I know–My family has been routed by this disease.

Get a jump on what you need to know by reading my new book—“Az and Me: A Partner’s Journey with Alzheimer’s.” Get ahead of the curve. In the book, I tell you how to protect you and your loved one—before and during the crisis.

Read my book’s reviews on Amazon. Folks really like the format—short, snippets (no long reads) intermixed with poems (mine) and pictures. Often, I weave through humor, as well.

And, please consider adding your own Review. Scroll down below the book description to the section “Leave a Review.” I’ll love you for it.

Here’s a glimpse of what awaits diners at Quito’s.

The food’s pretty darned good, also…..