Angels: Notice Them in Your Life
Angels…
…….You Might Want to Notice Them
It seems seasonally appropriate to discuss “angels” and how they might appear in your life, without your fully realizing it.
I recount an event that happened to Paul and me: Fifteen years ago, my husband, Paul Wesley Gates, was hit on a mountain road in Asheville, North Carolina, behind our condominium complex, by a 12-year-old girl driving her uncle’s truck (the uncle was passenger in the truck).
Paul was removed from his Chrysler Sebring by the Jaws of Life, taken to a nearby hospital where they determined he suffered a broken neck. A day later, following a nine-hour surgery, he choked on swelling and suffered an anoxic episode (heart and lungs stopped, with no oxygen going to his brain). He died. The triage team bolted him back to life and the hospital called me to tell me he’d “coded” and to come back in (I’d left the hospital at 9:00 PM; they called me at 11:00 PM).
As fate would have it, the party responsible for the accident (the uncle) had the minimum $30,000 insurance North Carolina mandated and we had no “underinsured” coverage. (We never thought that would be a problem.) This accident would amount to a minimum of $500,000. I began getting calls from hospital and rehab facilities, who expected payment. Harassing calls at a time I was frazzled. I’d dealt with my husband’s death…his being brought back to life…his slow recovery… our terrible flight home… (Our awful trip home where every conceivable thing went wrong…my “Planes, Trains and Automobiles” story was published by AP.)…our welcome home highlighted by our in-ground pool whose walls had caved in (it was the period of the floods in RI).
I felt beaten… defeated…crushed…exhausted. Months of being “on,” both as caregiving partner and wunderkind who had to deal with all the official business—insurance companies…lawyers…at the same time.
After months of this, I determined I’d end all and agree to the negotiating terms (which saw us the inevitable loser) the next day.
Then the miracle happened.
It was a super hot day in July. Why I’d ever suggest Paul and I go to an annual street fair in the lovely fishing village town of Wickford, RI, where artisans displayed their works is beyond me. First off, I dislike crowds and avoid them at all costs. Then there was the fact Paul, constrained by that hard Aspen neck collar—made all the more unbearable in the heat, was still weak.
But go to the festival we did.
While walking along the sidewalk, I heard my name called out. It was a colleague who taught with me. When she asked what happened, I explained and told her I was going to accept the insurer’s terms the next day. Standing nearby, her husband overheard and suggested I not enter into agreement the next day. He suggested I call him, instead.
Lawyer Joel Chase of Warwick, husband to my teaching mate Helene Chase, became our lawyer as a result of this “chance meeting.” In the process, I came to understand things I’d have never thought possible—such as “stacking our insurance policies” and our prevailing in a lawsuit, following mediation. Joel championed our cause and insured we got justice (Joel Chase is the same lawyer who represented policeman Jeffrey Michael Hornoff, falsely accused of killing a woman and incarcerated for six years).
It felt as if I were lifted from the edge of the abyss.
I have always considered this to be one of the times an angel stepped forward in my life. The 2nd was the nurse who happened by Paul’s room..
But I have learned to note the people who have stepped up at a particularly difficult time. I know, too, that their help made the critical difference in my life story that could’ve had a very different ending.
For these reasons, I try to be that for others.
***Inset pic is of Paul in the ICU after his “death
experience.”Colleen Kelly Mellor, author of 4 books and articles that appeared in WSJ, Associated Press (AP), World News, is a former feature writer and monthly Op-Ed columnist for the Providence Journal. As a part-time resident of Asheville, NC, her columns appeared in Western North Carolina’s Mountain Xpress. While there, her husband suffered the fatal accident (triage brought him back) which precipitated his Alzheimer’s Her book, Az and Me: A Partner’s Journey with Alzheimer’s, makes a great gift and it is is available on Amazon or at her website below. It focuses on her many years as sole Caregiver to her cognitively impaired husband.
colleenkellymellor.com
